Today has been a rather strange day. I went to Tesco for some supplies for dinner (as Rud had agreed to make meatballs), and some fresh fruit for a salad and some mixed leaves. I also got 6 cucumbers. Now, that may sound strange to some people, but I've loved cucumber since I was a child, and have always tended to favour cucumber on crackers for a nightime snack, and cheese & cucumber instead of cheese and biscuits, etc etc. Rud makes homemade Tsatziki; there are a number of things we make with it – and we go through maybe 4-5 a week at least…

The checkout man picked up a cucumber and of course, it wouldn't scan through the beeping machine, so he had to key in the convenient 75 digit number by hand instead.

"Do you eat a lot of salad?" he said, waving a cucumber at me, with 2 in his other hand. "No, not at all," I replied without thinking, "we should eat more of it really." He smirked and winked at me, and for one horror struck moment, time stood still….

Over my embarrassment, I got home, and went to change my shirt. The cleaner had been. In my bathroom was one of those large silver (at least, in this case) intimate objects. This one even had a wrist strap. So does my Samsung i780 Blackberry equivalent phone, by the way, but let's just say I don't mind being see with that in public.

I got a terrible sinking feeling. "Umm… Did you put this in the bathroom?" I asked Rud, hopefully. "No," he said, "where did that come from?"

I realised the cleaner must have found it, and discreetly put it in our bathroom for us. Which would have been fine, had said object actually been mine. Or Rud's. Or even "ours".

I can only assume a B&B guest (we take Bed & Breakfast guests in our spare room) had left it behind somewhere and it had ended up caught up in the washing or something…

Still, I should be grateful for small mercies. Today would have been an exceptionally bad day for it to fall out of a pocket in Tesco.